So as of yesterday I was deemed the official “Social Media Manager”
at the Independence Edge Art Studio. That’s
right, they have finally found a use for my otherwise counter-productive Facebook
addiction. My title means that I get to post on behalf of the studio updates
and notifications. I will promote and perform
the public outreach for stuff we do down in the dungeon. They are also letting me run my event idea
of “Nude Figure Drawing” sessions. I plan to go all hipster-spiff with this,
there will be live acoustic music or poetry and dessert along with naked people. Vicki my best friend and roommate, whose also
one of the director of Edge says that we can’t make dessert legally because if
someone gets sick we could be sued. So
I’m on the look out for a bakery to cater or sell stuff instead, or maybe a
lawyer that can bake.
Speaking of baked things, I’m in a relationship now with
Erik (my friend I performed at carnivolution with, the one that got
electrocuted with the pickle). It’s
weird how two weird things together are not weird at all. I like it a lot. I told myself I wasn’t going to get into a
relationship with anyone for awhile; I have a lot of issues with people from
the past I have a hard time letting go of.
But true happiness is about finding it in the present, and true pain is
focusing on happiness in the past. It’s
just like how I’ve had to deal with Chiari, I had to move on from a love of
running and biochemistry to a love of music art and sideshow performances. Sometimes when I’m drunk I’ll still try to do
chemistry problems, but sober it makes me cry, more so than an ex boyfriend could. The pain in my head always reminds me why we
broke up. Oh, and I dropped out of
college again. I don’t think I’ll ever
be cut out for that world. I don’t fit into systems, and I can’t perform at
someone else’s pace. I was getting
straight A’s at Temple in Media Productions, but I didn’t feel like I was doing
anything that made me happy, or giving me the life I wanted to live. I was spending all my time stressing out my
body and brain on things like 8 hours of reading the Illiad, which gave me no
time for friends or music or any of the things that make it worth waking up in
the morning. This made my headaches and
other symptoms more brutal and forced me to go out into the snow everyday in my
power-chair, catching cold after cold virus, getting stuck in snow banks and
having to be dug out by strangers in the ghetto, and having to drive my chair
in the middle of the streets because the sidewalks weren’t shoveled. My chair began to break, and so did my sanity
after one of my friends from our Sick and Sexy Society group died suddenly from
pneumonia. It put a lot into perspective
for me. Since then I’ve been playing
guitar everyday, working on only the projects I want to, and making it a point
to tell everyone that I love that I love them.
I don’t feel like I’ve failed, I feel like I’m finding my place in the
world. Erik says you don’t go to art
college to graduate anyway, he went to UArts and has a bunch of experience with
learning vs. creativity. I like learning
from those who don’t teach.
It’s rainy and cold out today, but it’s a beautiful
day. I can just stay in, listen to my
favorite Pandora station, play with Bunny Savage Jr. the cat, and work on my world.
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