Monday, November 7, 2011

A journey beyond being.


Keep low to the ground.  Don’t look down.

I made my way off the steep embankment.  The ground was flat, but cavelike cold. Tip-toeing on tibias, I scraped them across it to get my equiptment. 

The bag isn’t here! I know I left it here!   

I could have smacked myself.  There was only one other place the tools could be:  back over on the other side of the precipice that I’d just spent my last token of breath crossing. I laid down to collect more, as the ground collecting up heat from my body.  The hurricane winds whirled the scenery violently around me. As I tried to stare, the colors ran together like fatality spin art.  I had to get my tools if I was going to survive.

I can’t go back over it.  But I can go around it. 

I could hear the gears in my knees grinding as they carried me across the long journey curve.  My legs wobbled, and my bones crunched like dry leaves.  I clung to the side of the sleeping mountain, knowing that it could never be taken by the winds. I did not ask for help, I did not ask to be rescued.  This was my mission and my mission alone. I took in a breath of uncertainty, and breathed out courage as I saw my toolbag on the other side underneath a grounded structure.

I have everything now.  I just gotta go back and finish this.

I swept up my sweat, making sure to keep my line safe.  It was a direct route to my heart; my life depended on protecting it.   It had started to swell, so I scratched away the soreness.  The high seas crashed forebodingly against the dam.  I knew it could blow at any minute, and surely then I’d drown in a matter of seconds. It was never meant for such hard weather. I swing danced with the wind, and made my way back to moving onward.

Almost there, just a little more.  We can do it  Just you and me body.

I made it to the hot springs.  I let their warm falls run over me like a young love.  I took the razor from my bag and ran it over my left calf.

God it feels so good to shave my legs.

I left the hair on the shower floor, and crawled my way back into the hospital bed.